zombie pull

zombie pull of screen first thing stealing my first thoughts trading them for others'
and the others' first thoughts are others' first thoughts
trust what I put in you, you say
don't sacrifice it to the shiny flickering idol
don't you think you have anything to say, little honey?
you do
but it can't get out through the numbing layer of wax

now if everyone came to the boxes and screens with their first-conceived other-worldly dawn-thoughts and shared them
that would  be a place to visit
I'd gobble those up
you'd get to see it all unfold
the words - the art - the hurt - the heal
each persony poem unfolding unrhyming
because people are beautiful and surprising, and also beautiful because they are not surprising
you me us, our little huddle that is The World

cut away the numbing bandages of images
you can you know
you can be the doctor
or the Doctor's assistant anyway
why me? we ask
why not
who wants to be a stage hand when you can be the player
terrifying but surprising
it sounds so hopeful
but then I remember its time for my tiny stage hands to wake any minute now
the prima donna the lead the supporting actor
will be down demanding honey buns
and I'm discouraged because I know where their first thoughts will go
and mine are here clicking at the screen -
does anyone move any closer to change?

don't worry, Honey people used to be afraid of the light bulb and the radio and the television
I didn't check out because of technology
a way in the junk yard desert
always a way
why so downcast o my soul
put your trust in me
the day's sand begins to drain
as grains through the hourglass so our the days of our lives

warning: bad things happen to these stick men

do you already know Don Hertzfeldt? 
everyone always knows everything before me.  it's okay.  I have other gifts.

I discovered his short film "Billy's Balloon" through Sound Opinions recently, then roamed around the internet and found some others [sidenote:  don't roam around the internet unless you are in the mood for a lot of breasts and kittens].  evidently he is known, award-winning and Sundace-y.  all I know is that he does a lot with a few drawn lines, a little music and a lot of talent and humor.  some of them get pretty dark and even bloody (for a stick human anyway), so he's not for everyone. 

but overall, I'm just impressed and thankful for him.

everything will be okay...sort of

vacation recovery

today was our first day home.
it was hard.  because I dunno, it just was.
I sent the kids to their rooms, and laid down to have a good weep into the dog's fur,
but I'd had a lot of diet Mt.dew and that was working against me.
so I stewed...then this came to mind, I worked through it, and got unstuck.
hopped up, drew it, carried on with life and fussing at the children.
bc Motley Crue has healing powers evidently.
(here, in case you want to print and carry in your wallet for future doldrums)

New Dog Breed: OttoLab (part Ottoman + part Labrador Retriever= Roxy)

i'm just a little fat black dog full of trust and used ear plugs.
why'd you drop me from such a height?

"throw her in," they called to you.
"swim to shore," they called to me
but you're the only destination I've ever known, so i turned and swam back toward the boat --
after i surfaced, i mean.  first, i went down deep.  evidently, i'm small, but dense.  what are you feeding me?

i saw on your face that you regretted your choice and you jumped in after me,
not soon enough in my opinion.
i scrambled up and around your shoulders like a 30-pound panicky mink stole.

later you laughed over beers on the screened porch,
but your laughter was thin and i knew your heart wasn't in it
because of how you'd clutched me to your chest in the water whispering, "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry," all the way to the dock.

for the rest of the afternoon
i punished you by retreating a few steps everytime you reached for me, as if we were repelling ends of a magnet. 
no, no.
you stay.
bad girl.
actually, i forgave you quickly, but you don't need to know that.
otherwise, how will you learn?

nature is nice, but don't trust it

swifts swiftly swirling twirling curling dolphins in the sky
i perch watching twitching itching to join swiftly stealthy sly
in a bike helmet.

this morning i sat on the dock, with one eye out for sneaky water moccasins
to enjoy the peace of the morning sky
and i did.
a small flock of tiny swifts joined me, circling above and around -- at a polite distance--
it was amazing and fun and enchanting to be in the center of it.
their little torpedo bodies and battyish wings, dipping and diving and gliding.
frankly, they just seemed to be enjoying their lives,
so i sat and enjoyed also, because i can be deep and naturey.  I've experimented with natural deodorants.
but then they started to circle a little more closely, at a less polite distance --
like the guy at a party whose quirky dance moves are fun from across the room, but less fun when he sidles up and singles you out as a partner.
i noticed their beaks were pointier than i first thought, and i could be imagining it, but their eyebrows seemed angry,
also they seemed focused on my forehead which is too large for normal life, but stellar as a beak target,
i went inside for honeybuns.
because it is one thing to enjoy a little nature,
but it is quite another to wake your sisters-in-law at daybreak and ask them to carry you 30 miles to the closest emergency room to have a bird removed from your head.

the church-spaghetti-supper-circuit is where steve martin started too

I did "real" standup for a year.  I liked it, but it got difficult time-wise and stress-wise.
This was my first time on a stage after a long break.  And I was so nervous leading up to it, even though most of the people watching were friends and gracious kind people.  Afterwards, my 11-year-old said, "This is more fun than your old way, because you don't have to go to some old dark bar to do comedy."
I still can't decide whether I agree or disagree.  I mean, probably I could've used a drink. 
And yet, it was interesting to have kids and a husband with me beforehand that understood I was nervous and prayed for me before and during it.


Deedee's Birthday Shark Song

There've been an unusual number of shark attacks on the Carolina coasts lately,
the most recent happening where we'll be for vacation in a week.
Making a silly song about it is akin to picturing a scary audience in their underwear I guess.
Yeah, that'll show 'em.